Random thoughts on Love

My dear friend Natalie once recommended that I read this book about Gods love for us. It was a fictional book but biblically based and I found it to be good. I wouldn't say that the writing itself was great but the message was. It's something that I completely agree with but I don't necessarily think that I've found the proper understanding of. It's Gods Love. I know that there is a God but I don't understand God. I understand that God has a personal attachment to me that is best described as Agape, the greek version of God's Love. I have a diluted idea of the power of Love in my own experiences and incidents that I have witnessed or heard of and it is beautiful. If you prescribe to the Christian faith then you have an incredible example of Gods Love in the man named Yeshua, Christ, Jesus. He Loved fiercely! He Loved openly and His Love was vast. I want to Love like that. I really want to Love like that!

So I was sitting in a hot tub last night with some good friends and we started talking about people who spend $5,000 on bedding for one bed. It made my blood boil! I found myself adding up how many kids that money could put through high school in Kenya and things like that. I'm still wrapping my mind around what happened in my heart and in my mind last night as that conversation continued. Here's where I am at with it. I find it a repulsive thought and find myself quickly judging those who do it. In that act I am polluting my heart and Love for another...I haven't even met them for crying out loud!!! I had to apologize for where I allowed my heart and mouth to go. It's tragic that the greed for money has the opportunity to corrupt hearts who don't even have the desire for it and are completely removed from it. It's tragic that I allowed it. I can honestly tell you that there is still bitterness in my heart for such things and that I have a long way to go with it.

Here's another thought that has come from my hot tub time with these friends. We were talking about youth and what we can do to better things for them. I'm a firm believer that change always begins with you. How can I ask another to change if I'm unwilling to change myself. So in our conversation someone brought up the phrase "what can we, the church, do....". My immediate thought was that "we" is not just the church but the whole human race and the responsibility lies in each and every one of us! My feeling is that when we try to make it the responsibility of "the church" we are saying that "the church folk" are higher than others in morals and responsibility. I disagree with that. There are plenty of opportunities to show lack of morals in "non-christians" but I also remember spending many sleepless nights with someone that I love dearly as they fought with their youth pastor in dreams as he and others from the church continued to abuse this person many years beyond the original offense. My thought and feeling is that the responsibility lies in the hands of every single soul on the face of this earth. Do not separate but come together! That seems a lot like real Love to me.

I'm back!!!

WOWZERS!!! I find myself searching for words to describe the time that accounts for my absence from this blog but it's really hard to find just one. I'll take a shot at some. Incredible, amazing, scary, adventurous, soul searching, invigorating, crazy, draining, captivating, tough, joyful, hopeful, and of course full of LOVE. You had to know that I couldn't forget Love.

I'm still in the process of processing my time in Kenya and everything that came with it and I'm sure that there will be plenty to come after this in regards to what I got from my time there. I have to say that I'm glad that I went alone and that it was for more than just a few weeks. I still had hardly anything figured out after just a few weeks. I'm in Cornville Az. right now at my Dads house and have had time to unwind and get used to being back here in the states but I still haven't digested what the last 3 months have brought me. Did you know that Senator McCain lives here? I didn't!

What I can tell you is that I saw some beautiful things and God allowed me to be a part of a beautiful piece of His kingdom and I am truly thankful for it. I look forward to spending time with all of you sharing life and the adventures that we've been able to be a part of in our time apart. I missed you!

I do want to leave you one of the most important messages that I got from my time in Kenya. I've heard this a hundred times and thought that I lived it out but I really did a poor job at it. The most important mission field isn't in Kenya or Mexico or Turkey it's right here right now. Every moment of your should be approached as the mission field. There's more glamor in going to some far off place and being Jesus to them and they really do need our help but the mission field is with your best friend, your spouse, sister, pastor, enemy, people at the beach, rich lawyer in Yaks, or the homeless guy that you just drove by. A friend of mine wrote to me while I was in Kenya and told me this story about a homeless mentally ill lady that she helped out one night against the advice of police and neighbors. She was just on her way home and saw someone that she could be Jesus to and did it. I have no clue if that lady even remembers her but I can tell you that at that moment she felt loved and those neighbors, police, fire and ambulance people got to see Jesus alive here. You and I are in the mission field right now!

I look forward to getting all of this going again and getting together with as many of you as possible. I wonder what's next?

LOVE, the Phenomenon!!!

If any of you have spent much time around me and we got into any kind of deep discussion then there is a good chance that the word love was used. I love Love!!! Seriously I Love it!!! I can’t explain it but I sure am fond of it. It’s like the holy spirit, wind, or the way a womans mind works. I can’t explain it but it sure does lead to an adventure. Today I was at this Baptist church in Karen Kenya and the pastor asked what Jesus is single gift to us and he said that it was salvation, I don’t agree with this. The pastor had a great point and is much more educated than me but still I think that salvation is not standing alone on that podium.

So I asked God, “Father what is Jesus greatest gift to us?”

I think he said “Celine Dion”. Just kidding I got “Salvation, guidance, Love, grace and faith.”

“ I think your right Father.” I said and then I realized that He realized that I meant “Your right!” and just blew off the “I think” part because He know that wasn’t what I meant.

Maybe it’s just because I’m so fresh in this walking with Jesus thing but I always come back to Love being from God and Fear being from Satan. It’s very simple to me.

Poddles and Dobermans

I was at this great conference the last couple of days called When God Dreams. At the beginning of the conference I was asking God a number of questions during worship. I was watching the worship team play and the worship leader was smiling as she played but the rest of them looked like they were playing poker. Please keep in mind that the worship was PHENOMENAL and the team was passionate about what they were playing and you could feel it in the music. Nevertheless they looked pretty serious. So I asked God "Father, how seriously should we be taking this life with you?" His response was "Poodles and Dobermans".

I immediately understood! My friends have this little poodle that is such a great reminder that God has a wonderful sense of humor and that lil' dog popped into my mind immediately. On my way to work I drive by a used car lot that has a two doberman pincers that keep watch after hours. That is a dog that I couldn't imagine doing anything but taking seriously. "Good point God. Thanks."

The quiet one

This morning I was thinking (this can sometimes be a painful experience but not this time) about people in my life and the differences in them. I feel that there has to be balance in almost everything in life. There are always opposites. Good to evil. Powerful to weak. Hot to cold. I see those in people to. I know people who come storming into your life with such a strong presence that draws everything around them to them. The power of their personality is like a magnet. Then you have the quiet one.

The quiet one is the one off to the side while everybody is surrounding the powerful one. I've known a lot of quiet ones and they have never ceased to amaze me. They are so powerful and they rarely realize it. I have this great friend that everybody knows, respects and loves but he is never the center of attention. He is possibly the most Christ like man that I have ever met in my life but once again he is not the one standing out in the crowd. He'll give you the shirt off of his back before you even have the chance to ask for it. He'll also lovingly point out that there is a chance that you could have dealt with something in a better way. He's the type of guy that you would never want to be disappointed in you because it would wreck you. I don't think that I would have ever really got to know him as well as I do had we not ended up spending a lot of time working together. I always liked him and always saw wisdom and love in him but I never realized how deep it went.

God is so good at humbling me with men like him. It would have been so easy for this amazing man to have been a passing friend in my life. I would have never known how amazing he is because he is the quiet one. People always listen when he talks but he still manages to slip by so easily. We should always remember that in the crowd there is someone in the back with an amazing gift for us. We can't get near sighted we have to stay aware of everybody and everything to really experience this life and the gifts that we have been given.

Father I thank you for the men and women of God that stand up and make your voice heard to the crowds. I thank you for the ones who have that powerful presence that is always out there in the open for everybody to feed off of and grow in. Father I also thank you for men like Jim who's quiet presence is so very powerful as well. Father I pray that you open our eyes to see more of these men and women and that we learn everything that we can from them. Father help us to open our hearts to relationships with these amazing people. Father thank you for gifting us with them. Thank you for loving us so very much. AMEN!

I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've dropped in here and dropped you, my dear friends, a few lines about my blessed life in Gods presence. I have no good excuse so please just forgive me. Here is an update on the going ons of my life these days.

As most of you know I am working on a trip to Kenya to help in the construction of an orphanage and a Youth Camp for Pastor Jerry Daniels. Pastor Jerry planted a church in Nanyuki Kenya 35 years ago and has given his life to that community. It amazes me that a man can do that. He picked up everything and moved from the states to Kenya to serve God and his fellow mankind. I plan on leaving in late May after my good friend Kirsten gets married to my soon to be good friend James.

I'm very excited about the wedding and watching the two of them grow together over the years to come. What a blessing it is to be a part of a day that will change the rest of their lives. IT just continues to be a blessing as I get to watch the two of them go through life together. I hope that the three of us will have many adventures together over the years.

I am getting a crash course on raising money for mission trips. I feel like I'm trying to squeeze water out of a rock. The current economy has impacted so many people that would have been more than happy to be a part of sponsoring me in this journey but are unable to at this point. It is testing my faith and I am ashamed to say that I am found lacking and have to continuously put myself in check with my lack of faith. Please pray for me in this area.

In this journey I have learned about kids who have so much experience raising funds for mission trips because that has always been a part of their life. If I ever have children of my own I hope to have plenty of advice to give them as they go out on Journeys of their own.

I think about all of you often and pray for Gods will in all of your lives. Thanks for your support and please check out my Kenya blog at calebinkenya.blogspot.com as well as this one. Lets pray.

Father thank you for the blessed grace filled life that you have given us. Thank you for letting us be in a country where we can worship you publicly without the worry of punishment for it. Father I pray that you work in the lives of everybody who reads this and that you guide them to a life centered on you and your will. Father thank you for your patience and faith in me when I am such a poor example of both. Please forgive me for my lack of faith and patience. Father thank you for LIFE!!! AMEN!!!

I love you guys!!!

YOU SHOULD CHECKOUT MY FRIENDS BLOGS!!!!
I just spent some time catching up on my friends blogs and am so amazed at what an amazing group of people I find God surrounding me with. I love you guys and I thank you for sharing YOU with all of us.