My dear friend Natalie once recommended that I read this book about Gods love for us. It was a fictional book but biblically based and I found it to be good. I wouldn't say that the writing itself was great but the message was. It's something that I completely agree with but I don't necessarily think that I've found the proper understanding of. It's Gods Love. I know that there is a God but I don't understand God. I understand that God has a personal attachment to me that is best described as Agape, the greek version of God's Love. I have a diluted idea of the power of Love in my own experiences and incidents that I have witnessed or heard of and it is beautiful. If you prescribe to the Christian faith then you have an incredible example of Gods Love in the man named Yeshua, Christ, Jesus. He Loved fiercely! He Loved openly and His Love was vast. I want to Love like that. I really want to Love like that!
So I was sitting in a hot tub last night with some good friends and we started talking about people who spend $5,000 on bedding for one bed. It made my blood boil! I found myself adding up how many kids that money could put through high school in Kenya and things like that. I'm still wrapping my mind around what happened in my heart and in my mind last night as that conversation continued. Here's where I am at with it. I find it a repulsive thought and find myself quickly judging those who do it. In that act I am polluting my heart and Love for another...I haven't even met them for crying out loud!!! I had to apologize for where I allowed my heart and mouth to go. It's tragic that the greed for money has the opportunity to corrupt hearts who don't even have the desire for it and are completely removed from it. It's tragic that I allowed it. I can honestly tell you that there is still bitterness in my heart for such things and that I have a long way to go with it.
Here's another thought that has come from my hot tub time with these friends. We were talking about youth and what we can do to better things for them. I'm a firm believer that change always begins with you. How can I ask another to change if I'm unwilling to change myself. So in our conversation someone brought up the phrase "what can we, the church, do....". My immediate thought was that "we" is not just the church but the whole human race and the responsibility lies in each and every one of us! My feeling is that when we try to make it the responsibility of "the church" we are saying that "the church folk" are higher than others in morals and responsibility. I disagree with that. There are plenty of opportunities to show lack of morals in "non-christians" but I also remember spending many sleepless nights with someone that I love dearly as they fought with their youth pastor in dreams as he and others from the church continued to abuse this person many years beyond the original offense. My thought and feeling is that the responsibility lies in the hands of every single soul on the face of this earth. Do not separate but come together! That seems a lot like real Love to me.
