Today I officially became an uncle. I've been called uncle Caleb by a number of kids already and I love each of them so dearly but today my sister gave birth to my niece. She is incredible!!! I was at the door the whole time trying to catch what was happening inside the room. It was an emotional roller coaster for me. I was so frustrated because I couldn't take the pain from my sister. She's pretty flippin' tough, she did it naturally. That's right no epidural. I'm not saying that she didn't call for it, I'm just saying that she didn't get one. I was so tense. My fists were balled up, my shoulders were tight and my jaw was set. My mind was racing! I just wanted to take the pain from her so bad...then I heard my niece cry. My body loosened, my tears started and it became difficult to talk. In that one moment my body changed, my emotions changed and my life changed. I have so many dreams and hopes for her. On the nursery wall at the hospital there is this quote;
A new baby is the beginning of all things...
Wonder, Hope and a Dream of Possibilities.
She really is all of those things. There is something so pure and incredible about her. It's so unreal to hold her and think back to when my sister was born or to imagine myself like that. I Couldn't even imagine what it would be like if I were to be holding my own someday.
So the birth went pretty well. It was quick but obviously not painless. After the birth my sister bled out a fair amount of blood. When they took her to the bathroom she passed out and they called for us to help. I came into the room quickly and saw her in the wheel chair with her head back and her eyes open but rolled back. I've seen some horrible wrecks and more than my share of dying people and have always remained calm and collected. When I saw her my mind took off! I got to her as quickly as possible and lifted her to the bed then started checking her pulse and other such things while the nurses did their thing. This time was so different, I wasn't exact or totally calm like I used to be. It was scary.
She is doing fine now. I think she's eating a turkey sandwich actually.
Shortly after that she got a call from a dear friend who is pregnant and then I got a call from another one of her friends who wanted to let me know that one of their friends just lost her step father in a plane crash. Today is a great reminder of the beautiful and fragile nature of life. I was watching a movie with someone special last week and the movie was about a man who was losing his wife to a brain tumor. He was some kind of scientist who was searching for a cure to save her. He fought and fought to save her but he didn't get the cure finished until the day she died. He said that death is a disease and it could be cured. I disagree. He ended up getting a second chance at chasing the cure or being with his wife and ended up choosing that time with her. That made me smile.
I guess these are just the ramblings of a tired man. Scattered all over the place but some how coming together in my head in a way that might only make sense to me like the odd chaos of a dream that just seems natural no matter how odd it is. I guess to wrap it up I would say that life is to be lived no matter how long or short it might be. Death is just as natural as birth. Hold on to love. I'm sitting here watching my sister hold her baby and it is by far one of the most beautiful and natural things that I have ever seen.
